"two or three things i know for sure.."

What I found interesting in the book “two or three things I know for sure” was the fact that the author Dorothy Allison used this phrase as a connector throughout the story. For every segment of the book she incorporated the ‘two or three things I know for sure..” I thought this was extremely clever, and to me it turned the book into a lot more than just an autobiography of her life, and family, and more into poetry, or fairytale. In a way it turned her true life story, into something fictional. I believe the reason why she did this was because in a way, she wanted this to be fiction; she wanted another life, or path. Not that she regretted anything, but that her life in a way, and her childhood was something that you’d read about in fictional books, or movies. Everything that happened to her, and the way her childhood was, is something a lot of people don’t want to talk about. Even in the beginning of the book she starts off by saying “Let me tell you a story” and goes on to talk about how she loves telling stories, and would tell her little sisters stories all of the time.

Everything that happened in Dorothy Allison’s life, and the problems within her dysfunctional family, made her exactly who she is today. I believe although she tried to steer far away from falling into the same fate as most of the women in her family, she still did in a way. It’s like a family curse, which is another aspect of a fictional tale. This also ties into her autobiography sounding as if it’s a fictional story.

Living in the past

In the book “The shawl” we discussed in class whether or not, we thought it was healthy that Rosa was writing letters to her dead daughter Magda. The class had mixed views on this topic; some thought it was a good thing for her to do, while others believed it was sick. In my opinion the fact that she’s writing letters to her daughter is neither good nor bad; it just ties into the stupor that she allowed herself to be in. She started living in isolation, poverty, and filth reverting back to the way things was in the holocaust. I believe the reason why she went back into the past, is because that where here heart, and soul truly remained. Although she moved on in the physical sense, her mind was still in the 1940s. I believe this is because the experience was extremely traumatic, and her daughter was brutally murdered. The fact that she’s writing to her dead daughter to me, is more like she’s speaking to her, since she’s in the concentration camp in her mind, she’s imagining her daughter there, because that was the last place they were together. The fact that she’s telling her daughter that she’s a doctor, and married, to me, symbolizes her dreams, and goals that she did in fact have for her child. Rosa is suffering from guilt and even more psychological problems because she’s unable to move on, and push forward with her life. Because of this traumatic event, she’s stuck in the past, which proved that the word survival cannot always be something happy, and automatic. Although someone survives, they can still be suffering with the after effect of the situation, which is exactly what happened to Rosa and the rest of her life.

In the story “When the Emperor was divine” one of the themes we discussed in class, was the fact that the whole book revolved around lies. All of the characters lied to not only others, but to themselves as well. I believe this all derived from many different reasons. The reason why the family in the story, and many others, were lured to the internment camps, were all based on lies.

They were told that this was supposed to be a good thing, and in order for them to be safe, they had to be moved to these camps. Although everyone figured that this was a lie, they went along with it, because of fear. I believe the reason why so many lies were told in this story, is so the characters to have some sense of control. They had no control over their own lives, or the situation they were in, so I believe they lied in order to gain some control, and be able to live in the make-believe world they created.

In this story i found that in order for the characters to remain a level of sanity, lying became natural and needed in order to help them 'cope' in a way.

Completly Alive?

The story “When the emperor was divine” was very different than most of the stories we read this semester. The difference being in the ending, unlike the other stories we’ve read this story doesn’t have a particular ‘happy ending’. In my opinion this fact made the story seem a lot more realistic. One factor that made the story even more real to the readers was the fact that it’s based off of a true event, and also it depicts life so well, with the fact that there is never really a defined happy ending. “When the emperor was divine” talks about a tragic and secretive time in American history.

After the bombing of Pearl Harbor, the Japanese, and people of Japanese decent living in the United States were sent to live in internment camps. Just like those in the holocaust except they were work camps, or death camps, they were just places sectioned off specifically for the Japanese. The story focuses on a family consisting of a mother, father, daughter, and son. Although the family and many others were not tortured or beaten, they suffered something of equal damage.

Their freedom was ripped away, and they were deemed different no matter how ‘Americanized’ they had become. I don’t think anyone came out of the internment camps completely alive. I believe a piece of them left once they entered. They all lost a sense of themselves and its evident throughout the text. They were ostracized because of the way they looked and their ancestry. When leaving the camps in my opinion, the lingering question for every Japanese person in the camps was “who am I now?”

Push

One thing that bothers me so much in the book ‘push’ is the fact that throughout Precious’s seventeen years of living no one detected that she was being abused at home. The signs were clearly there if someone just took the chance to look into them. She was a bully, upset, distant, and a major sign was the fact that she was pregnant twice, her first time being when she was just twelve years old. It seems as if no one really cared enough which led Precious to believe even more that she was a nobody and there was no ‘good’ in people. The only thing she knew in life was hurt, which led to her driving emotion of anger. Precious was angry about her situation, angry at herself, and angry at others. This book sheds light on a lot of topics, since education is the field I plan on making my career, the topic that hits home for me, is the fact the Precious was pushed through the system. At seventeen she was illiterate, and didn’t even know her ABC’s. The teachers and school officials were obviously not thinking about her wellbeing or else, all of her issues would have been confronted and dealt with. This is a major problem that a lot of classrooms are dealing with even today! Precious went to school in an urban area; there were probably a lot of children in her classroom going through the same problems, if not more. Without the proper guidance and education these children are bound to fall into different statistics, and not grow to their full potential. Although the book ‘push’ takes place in the 80s, it unfortunate to say that the achievement gap between inner-city schools, and upper class schools are still the same, with urban schools straggling behind. This has to change, and we all need to take a stand and interest in the students a lot more. I truly believe that is Precious became a person of interest to a school official earlier in her life, the situation she was in would’ve gotten 10x better.

Communication in he 'Fun Home'

In the story ‘Fun home’ the family had absolutely no type of communication. It was awkward and at times uncomfortable to even live there. Situations or problems would occur and no one would say anything about it. This proves to be a major problem in the household. In order to advance, and fix any type of situation communication is needed, and this is exactly what was missing from the Bechel family. Every emotion, question etc in the fun home was silenced by fear, anger, and confusion. The problems within the family itself ran deep, so this question arises “if there was some form of communication, would thing be a little different?” I say yes. I believe things probably wouldn’t have gotten automatically better, but the transition, or more so living with the secrets would be a lot easier, in turn making life for the family a lot easier. Everyone in the family felt trapped, and silenced, in my opinion if they at least talked about some of the problems, most of the feelings on entrapment would be relieved. The lack of communication within the household, led to future problems for the characters. For example Allison and her father were never extremely close, Even though they saw each other every day, they were still so distant. She even stated “I can’t say he was a bad father...he was there” this shows throughout her entire childhood, she only remembers her father as being in her life in just the physical sense, his body and presence. When it came to an emotional or mental connection however, that didn’t happen because they never communicated. Allison didn’t even know how to kiss her father goodnight! A task that seemed so simple turned into something extreme because of the lack of affection in the household. This followed her into her young adult life as well. It was difficult for her to essentially become physical with her partner.

Death equaling Freedom

At first I didn’t like the story “Fun house” at all. After discussing the story in class, and doing some more reading I realized there’s a lot more to the story than I initially thought. One of the topics we discussed in class is one that I found extremely interesting. “Death equaling freedom”. I agreed with this statement, I think that the father committed suicide because he looked at death as the only way to achieve freedom. With situations in the story, and his facial expressions throughout the book, I believe this this is true. The father in the story started off carefree and happy, if not happy than content. He was not only in the army, but over sees, and traveling the world. He was also falling in love, with his lifestyle, and also the woman that soon became his wife. That freedom and independence was ripped away due to unfortunate family circumstances. Already we see that the father was beginning to be trapped in a lifestyle that wasn’t of his choice completely. The misery continued because throughout the story we see that he was also trapped within his sexuality. The father was forced by society, and fear, into not being able to express himself freely. He was trapped not only because he had a family, but because the time period the story takes place in, was not a time period when homosexuality was looked at as acceptable. The father finally comes out of the closet to his daughter, in the 80s, when being gay was starting to become in a way more known, and acceptable. I think all through the fathers life he was unable to relate to anyone, and one his daughter ‘came out’ it gave him the courage to do so also. This wasn’t enough however, because it was too late for him to start his life. Again the feeling of being trapped comes into play, the father is trapped in his own life, a prisoner of decisions he made in the past, and regret, and misery plagued his life, taking from his freedom. In my opinion the only way for him to feel alive again was for him to end his own life. Death became a way to become free again, the father believed he had to die, in order to be reborn, and this is why I believe he committed suicide.